I’m so thankful for my church. During each service that Sunday morning, my church stood and turned towards Baylor hospital and prayed for Blake. Such a blessing to have so many praying for my sweet boy. Even people in Africa were praying for Blake.

Sunday was so hard. We sat by Blake’s bed praying he would wake up. He looked so frail….not anything like I had seen before. Blake had been sick before but this was so different.

I was alone with Blake for a little while on Sunday afternoon. I could feel God’s presence in the room with me. I remember praying and crying once again out to God, but my prayer changed. I prayed the hardest prayer I’ve ever prayed before. I prayed for God’s will, not mine. The tears began rushing down my cheeks. I’m thinking, why am I praying this? But, I knew ultimately that God’s will was perfect. He had a plan. I didn’t want Blake to suffer. I didn’t want him to feel pain. I had the strangest calmness come over me…

I walked outside Blake’s room and Roger Clark was standing there. I looked at him and I told him Blake was gone. He wasn’t dead, but my Blake was gone. I didn’t give up on Blake, I simply gave in.

It seemed like an eternity before Blake was out of surgery. The doctor came in and told us that basically Blake had survived the surgery, but no hope. He seemed puzzled that Blake had even been sent to Baylor. It really makes me wonder if they even looked at the paperwork that was sent to them. It clearly stated how critical Blake was. Blake was placed in the CCU and we were finally able to see him late Saturday night. God made sure the best and sweetest nurses would watch over that sweet boy of mine. These nurses had gone to Harding University in Searcy, AR. That’s the town I grew up in. God is God.
Sarah was probably my very favorite nurse Blake had. She was the cutest little red head! She would pray over Blake. She treated him like he was going to survive. She wasn’t giving up.
Sunday morning finally came!! You know JOY does come in the morning because it meant Blake was still with us. He was fighting.
The neurologist did his evaluation on Blake. He told us that Blake was in a comma and from what he could tell, no brain activity. He wanted us to give up it seemed.
Blake needed surgery on his other leg to release pressure. The doctors did not want to do it. Randy pleaded with them…begging. They finally agreed to do the surgery. Sarah went to surgery with Blake and I asked her to please pray over him and not to leave him. She did just that. She prayed!! She stayed!!
When the surgery was over, she came and got us. She said they almost lost Blake a couple of times but, HE SURVIVED!!!!
Later, Blake was brought back to his room. He was so still…it was like he was just sleeping. I wanted him to open his eyes so bad. I wanted him to know I was there and we were not giving up. Again, I begged him to fight.

Thursday was a somewhat better day. Blake was more stable than he had been, so the decision was made to transport to Baylor Dallas. We spent a lot of time with Blake that day. I remember telling him to hold on because we were going home. The doctors made plans for a jet to transport Blake on Friday. Well, Friday came and it was raining. So the decision was made to wait until Saturday. Blake’s oncologist/hematologist came to talk with us about Blake’s blood disorder. She informed us that his tests were inconclusive because of the drugs in his system when the blood was drawn. They still didn’t know what was going on with that sweet boy of mine. How could this be? Why could they not figure it out?
Friday night was slowly approaching…I hated the nights because if Blake was going to have a hard time it was always when the sun went down. About 2:00 am Saturday morning the nurse came in and told us that Blake had started bleeding or you might say hemorrhaging. Also, he had developed Compartment Syndrome which is swelling in the muscles. It happens a lot to athletes. When this is diagnosed, the procedure they do is open the skin to help with the swelling. But, if they did that he couldn’t be transported. His blood was so thin they knew the bleeding would be too severe. So the decision was made to wait until Blake would got to Baylor Dallas to do the surgery. The bleeding finally stopped and the Flight team came in to get Blake. Randy was able to fly to Dallas with him. The paramedic team was awesome. Those men were so kind. Blake’s flight took off at 2:20 pm. I was so thankful that Randy was allowed to go with him. I remember us packing up all our stuff in the CCU waiting and heading to Dallas. It seemed like it took us forever. Randy called me at 3:00 pm and they had landed in Dallas and Blake survived the flight. Blake’s ambulance was meet by so many of our friends in Dallas. I was so thankful Randy would have people to lean on.
The doctors accessed Blake and quickly took him into surgery to release the pressure in his legs. When I got to the waiting room at Baylor, I was shocked at how many people were there. There was so much love in that room….

Looking back I can see the dots connecting. God placed Derek at home with me when I got the news about Blake. HE knew how much Randy and I would need him. He rode with us to Bryan. He kept reassuring us that Blake was going to be ok. Derek was our rock. He never left our side. I watched this sweet boy of mine become a man right in front of my eyes. God was moving not only in Derek’s life, but in his sweet Sarah’s life as well. I was truly amazed how strong Derek was for Randy and I even though his own heart was breaking. Derek has always been my protector. For example, right after Blake was born the three of us went grocery shopping and a lady accidently hit me with her cart. Derek told her to watch where she was going because his momma had just had a baby. The lady felt so bad…she kept a apologizing! I’m so thankful that God gave Derek to me. He is such a gift!!
Our family was learning what true GRACE was…
Thank you Lord for so carefully placing family and friends in my life at just the right time. The days ahead were going to be long and hard, but HE never left us.

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” Psalm 28:7

Thursday was truly a gift from God. My mom arrived later that afternoon. I don’t think I’ve ever been so thankful to see her. The doctors talked to us and didn’t want to give us too much hope, but things were a little bit better. It was the first time the doctors thought he might have a chance, not a big one, but a chance.
When we came out into the waiting after we had spent some time with Blake, God had provided a distraction for us. In the midst of our sadness He sent Bambi. If you were at the hospital you will remember Bambi. I think she might have been just a little crazy. We thought she worked at the hospital because she was sitting at the reception desk in the CCU waiting room. I thought it was a little strange when she drug out her coffee pot and started offering coffee to our friends. Babbett actually drank a cup. Babbett didn’t know that we had no idea who she was. Bambi was there because her friend was in the CCU. Several of our friends stayed the night with us. One of my funniest memories was when Bambi offered to go get Randy Wade a blanket from her car…at that point we began to think she might be homeless and living in her car. Nevertheless, Bambi was a gift!! I’ll mention Bambi from time to time as a remember our time at St Joseph Hospital because she was always there.

Blake had stabilized…God answered our prayer. I remember when we got to see him how thankful I was he was still hanging on. I wanted so badly to see his beautiful blue eyes. God answered that too. Barry, his nurse, told him very sternly “Blake open your eyes and look at your momma” and he did. It is a gift I still hold in my heart today. I held his hand and he very softly squeezed mine. He was still there. God was still giving us miracles. I mean, who survives coding thirteen times? One of the conversations I had with Blake was about him seeing Jesus. I knew my sweet boy had looked into Jesus’ eyes. When I would talk about this, his eyes would fluttered back and forth…he was telling me “Yes, momma I’ve seen a Jesus” or at least that’s what I thought. I kept on telling him….you have to fight because you have an amazing story to tell.
We were so blessed with great nurses and doctors that took such good care of him. One of his special helpers was a man named Billy. He had been flown to Bryan to specifically take care of Blake. He was there to monitor the Empella device that had been placed in his heart. Billy was an awesome young man….even though he was a Texas Longhorn. Blake would have gotten a kick out of a Longhorn taking care of him, an AGGIE!!!!
Blake’s friends were able to go and see him later on that day, but one of his best friends came in and when Blake heard his voice, he literally tried to get up out of the bed. That was his buddy, Roger Clark. Barry had to calm Blake down because he seemed to be getting too excited. That was the coolest thing when he responded to Roger’s voice like that. That day was truly the most amazing gift I think God had ever given to me. My sweet boy didn’t die…God was giving us more time.

As I stood by Blake, it was like I was having this horrible nightmare and I just wanted to wake up. He looked so helpless. I held his hand and prayed to the Lord that he would give him strength and let him live because he had a great story to tell.
We were only allowed to stay with him for just a few minutes…I hated to leave him but, we had to let the doctors and nurses do what they needed to do to help him. When we walked out into the waiting room…we had so many friends waiting. God knew how much we needed them and he made it possible for them to be there. We all got in a circle and prayed. This was the first of many circle prayers. Derek had called his finance’Sarah and she arrived. I’ll never forget her hugging me and staying with us. God was working. We were able to see Blake a few more times that evening. Each time whispering to him “fight baby and please don’t leave me”…we had friends that stayed with us through the night and matter of fact, never ever left our side. Around 12:00 the nurse came in and needed a signature for blood transfusions. She talked to us about it…I really didn’t understand.
At around 3:30 am, the nurse came and got Randy, Derek and myself. She said Blake is not doing well. When we entered his room. His blood pressure was dropping. And then it happened…he coded for the 13th time. They asked us to leave the room so they could work. We went in the hallway and I cried out to the Lord, please don’t take my baby. Please Lord, please hear my prayer. We were taken down the hall to a room to wait. Randy Wade, our pastor was there and my friend Janna. Randy asked what do you want me to do. He had his Bible and I simply said, just read. I could feel my faith slowly leaving. I was giving up. I wanted my momma so bad. She was 9 hours away. I remember Derek telling Randy and I “I love you” over and over. We were terrified!!
The door opened and the nurse stood there, I just knew he was gone. She said we have him back. I promised God right then and there my faith in Him would never waiver again, no matter what happened. I would trust Him completely…

We finally arrived at St. Joseph hospital and Blake’s friends were waiting on us. They still were waiting for information on Blake. Three doctors walked in the waiting room to tell us an update on Blake. I remember asking them “is he alive?” They said yes, even though they didn’t know how. He had coded 11 times and they were going to give up and they started asking him questions and he was responding. My sweet boy was still there. God answered my prayer….he didn’t die before we got there.
The doctors asked us the strangest question “does Blake use drugs, specifically cocaine?” We told them no, he had just finished his first triathlon 10 days earlier. The doctors said that his friends told them the same thing…Blake never did drugs!!
They began trying to explain to us what was going on with Blake. He had had a heart attack, not because of a heart problem, but a blood problem. Blake’s blood had gotten so thick they compared to glue. Blood clots were in his heart and in his lungs. They told us he was critical. What does that mean, I remember asking. It was so unimaginable…my sweet boy who was the picture of health was fighting for his life. I have never felt so helpless. There was nothing I could do, except pray!!
Finally, Blake got stable enough for us to see him. I remember running down the hallway thinking I would never get there. When I walked in the room, there my sweet boy lay with tubs everywhere…it took my breath away! I went to his bedside and told him that his momma was there. I begged him to fight.
The race he had prepared for all year long really wasn’t the race he was getting for….

May 9, 2012 changed my life forever. Blake was finished with his sophomore year at A&M and was packing to come home. Derek came home to have breakfast with with me. We talked about his upcoming wedding. I remember the sunshine shining outside, but little did I know that in a very short time I would receive a phone call that would change my life forever.
Derek and I were on our way to get his haircut when I received a phone call from paramedics in Bryan, Tx. They simply said we are taking Blake to St. Joseph hospital. I asked them what was going on and their reply was I’m sorry but all we can say is that he is in route and they couldn’t share details because he was over 18. They did tell me that Blake had asked them to call his “momma”….
Derek and I returned home to pack and call Randy. The first time I called him he didn’t answer…so I had an emergency number to call and I did just that. I spoke with a man that said “Don’t worry I will find him and he will call you right back”. Within moments Randy called and I told him he had to hurry home something was wrong with Blake…
The next phone call was from an ER doctor at St. Joseph and he asked where are you. I said, Dallas. He said get here as soon as you can. He wouldn’t tell me what was going on, only that Blake was critical. As a mom, I think that is the worst call I could have ever gotten. My mind was racing, my heart was pounding. It was almost impossible to breath. I remember going into Blake’s room and crying out to God, please don’t take my baby. I begged and pleaded with the Lord….I began calling people to pray for that sweet boy of mine. My friends were so faithful with their prayers. Many of them dropped everything and headed to meet us in Bryan.
Randy finally got home and we drove as fast as we could…praying nonstop the entire way that Blake would still be alive when we got there.
Each day I’m going to share more….the memories fill my mind.

“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:11. Thank you Lord for filling me your joy. I’m grateful for the joy I find in You, it gets me through the day. Looking forward to Journey tonight at Clife. Make your Tuesday terrific!!